<< written on December 31st 2020 >>
It is so funny and still surprising to look back and reflect on what has happened this year. A year that no one has ever expected, everyone realized that they needed to cancel or postpone their new year resolutions and plans just after creating them. A year that is difficult for probably almost everyone, except mask manufacturers and Zoom engineers :p, #jk. A year that is unexceptionally difficult also for me.
A weird start of the year: beginning of 2020 (Jan - Mar)
It was also a personally weird way to start this year. I started the year with deep grief after losing my last and beloved grandparent, my grandma. All the year-end trips last year were canceled. I ended up rushing in and out to the hospital and funeral home, went straight away back to Japan after cremating her while Jakarta was covered in flood and blackouts. I remembered that I needed to pack my baggage during the blackout on the night of January 1st after the cremation because my flight was in the next morning... No trumpet, no overnight year-end party, no more than just new numbers on the calendar.
Coming back early to Japan was I thought the way to move on more easily from what had happened back then in Indonesia. Although I knew that coronavirus was first reported back in late 2019, I never thought that it was going to be the main theme of this year. Thinking (planning) another "normal" year would come and spend the last few new year holidays peacefully were the firsts on my to-do list. I still (randomly) believed that the good rhyme of "twenty-twenty" would bring good fortunes to me. But watching TV news was like climbing the peak of a roller coaster track, slowly but surely terrifying.
Kobe Bryant's death? Ooh, what a bad start to the year...
First coronavirus case in Japan? Ooh.. still not a great deal, isn't it?!
Wuhan lockdown? Oh come on, what's this shit...
Corona Diamond Princess Cruise in Yokohama? The shit is coming broo... be prepared..
A late WHO pandemic declaration? Ooh, a teddy bear (read: Tedros) haha.. useless..
Toilet paper, rice, and masks become scarce in supermarkets? Wtf 2020...
Wearing a mask slowly became a "passport" to go outside. Mask hunting became a new weird normal. A weird year had come, robbing and destroying many dreams, looting in the US ha..ha..ha..
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| One of my favorite corona memes :) |
Meanwhile, on another track of my life (read: my work life) things also got rough. The talk about closing down the company had become more serious than ever. The company had some serious problems to take care of and began to see stopping the business would be the best option. This was a heartbreaking point this year, or probably in my life, not only because of losing a job, but mainly because of realizing that a person whom I think is on my side can stab your back, and a dream that was once believed can turn into bullshit.
A new bottom of my life: mid of 2020 (Apr - Jul)
Here I am at the new dark bottom of my life. Pandemic? Who cares?! I have no job! #jk. Of course, I cared (most probably more than you), looking for a new job in the middle of the pandemic is a different and unknown monster.
Coronavirus? What is this shit?
How long is it gonna last? ...
Seeking a new opportunity outside Japan? Not sure... With the virus, it seems not a good idea...
HIRING FREEZE IN BIG COMPANIES?!? Uwaaaa let me CRYYYY......
As some of my friends and people tell me that I am a (little too) optimistic type of guy, of course thinking of losing a job as "A Whole New World" (Alladin, read: new opportunity) was easy. But come on people! Not in the middle of this pandemic... Honestly, there always is a little dream in some corner of my head to travel countries or have a long trip before my next job (or in this context, this is just me running away from the reality). But... but... but... cannot lah...
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| can't describe better than this :) |
One beautiful thing that I realized, that I am grateful for and really thank myself for doing it and thank people who taught me how to, was saving. That was the MOTM (man of the match) and a game-changer of this year. I can't imagine how big my monster was if I didn't have enough savings even though I knew that I could receive 3 months of unemployment insurance (around ¥200,000 / month) here in Japan. Not only job hunting, the first few weeks I was busy making sure that my condition did not violate my current visa and learning how to get my unemployment insurance. I think that being financially secure this year gave me space and time to think slowly and more clearly to sort things out and solve them.
So what now? I started asking for help from friends who can refer me, updating my LinkedIn and CV, and applying for jobs. It does not sound as easy as saying (writing) them. It was a 4 months gap between my previous and current job. Since I was also a little bit picky about choosing my next job, I managed to apply for 15 companies, but 10 of them did not land me any interviews mainly due to the hiring freeze or just simply ignored me.
However, despite all the problems, to be honest, I kinda enjoyed my 4 months "reset" period. I had never had this kind of quite a long time to think about myself, but also do some fun and meaningful activities from my looong bucket list. I finished 4 online courses, read 2 books, discovered new hidden gems (read: good restaurants) in Tokyo, and moved to a better apartment, of course after my first job offer in mid of July :).
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| Night view from my apartment |
A brand new start and surprising first (corona) hospitalization in Japan: end of 2020 (Aug - Dec)
Here I am on the new page of my life. A new apartment, a new workplace, and a new heartbreak (it did not go well also with my previous GF) were quite overwhelming. There were so many boxes in my new apartment since the size doubled from the previous one and I barely had furniture. Going to my new office in Nihonbashi was also the new normal. Just entering the fifth week of August, which is also my birthday week, I had my first fever in this pandemic year.... (jeng jeng jeng -> screaming piano sound)
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| Going back from office at night |
To fast forward (or I can write this experience in another post), I got my Corona PCR test on September 7th and the result was positive. I had clear symptoms: headache, fever, cough, loss of smell, and noticeable chest pressure. Some (light) pneumonia was also found. Then, I got hospitalized on September 9th.
Corona positive news was shocking already, but to have it during the probation period in my new company gave me another headache haha. I was in a mental game prioritizing my health and my job. At the lowest point of this period, I said to myself to stop caring about anything except this corona shit and focus on the treatment. I was blessed that my company still supported me during this difficult period although I still felt bad because I was a new guy there. At that time, I just couldn't believe what 2020 had brought me. I just couldn't ask for a worse scenario.
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| My room at the hospital before going back home :) |
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| The best meal during the isolation |
Nevertheless, time passes by and life goes on. Things got more stable and I started enjoying the last third of 2020. Buying a lot of stuff (lights, curtains, sofa, tv cabinet, monitor, etc) for my new apartment, buying proper winter outfit, removing or selling old and unused stuff, learning so many new things in the new company, cooking more because of remote work, playing badminton again after the reset period, going to a hot bath after badminton, meeting a few old friends, finding and watching Kimetsu no Yaiba :), and so on...
A blessing in disguise of 2020
It was a long journey of 2020, yet it felt so quick like riding a roller coaster. I feel like time jumped from March to December with January and February being the waiting time for the roller coaster ride haha. Here I am after the ride, sitting down writing a review for the ride (read: reflecting). I just could not find a better way to close this year by saying many thanks to people who helped me survive this year: my family, my friends (especially whom I directly asked for help and job referrals), my old and new colleagues, doctors and nurses out there especially who carefully treated me, and the loving God. (Of course, I also gave myself credit for being a tough guy he..he..he..)
2020 has changed the way people live. Despite all of the difficult things that have happened or are happening to us, these are the things that I am grateful for from surviving 2020:
1. better communication with my family and extended family
- Since the online meeting boom this year, my family has actively participated in this. We ended up having more frequent online meetings :).
- It was just simply MOTM of this year. (please read the whole post for this :) )
- It was not easy to find a suitable job this year, but I believe I am in a better place now with a great mentor.
5. getting reminded of the importance of health
- This slapped me on the face when getting corona during the probation period. Highly appreciate doctors and nurses out there fighting for us.
- By looking at how many talented and global people in my network and looking at the distribution of US presidential voters this year, I am pretty much sure that I got one of the best education in Indonesia.
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| Image from : https://tower.jp/article/news/2020/07/07/tg011 |
Experiencing all these things this year has positively changed me and made 2020 an unforgettable one. This year has taught me to stop, contemplate, and reflect. All the hardships have definitely made me stronger and I hope you think of 2020 the same way. Thank you 2020 and happy new year 2021! Have a great year ahead!
